He looks as though he’s been weaned on a pickle.
I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.
We need two kinds of acquaintances, one to complain to, while to the others we boast.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
I think serial monogamy says it all.
I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.
When I was born I owed twelve dollars.
I have a wonderful make-up crew. They’re the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.
Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.
The reward of energy, enterprise and thrift is taxes.
I like marriage. The idea.
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself.
A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.
I’m a misplaced American, but don’t know where I was misplaced.
I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
When you’re eight years old nothing is your business.
I can speak Esperanto like a native.
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.
What do I know of man’s destiny? I could tell you more about radishes.
