A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up.
All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.
Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.
Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman.
Marriage is a great institution.
A marriage without conflicts is almost as inconceivable as a nation without crises.
Marriage is a mistake every man should make.
Marriage is an exercise in torture.
All that a husband or wife really wants is to be pitied a little, praised a little, and appreciated a little.
I always remembered that when I saw people get married they got on a rocketship and went to Planet Happiness, Population: Them.
The only good husbands stay bachelors: They’re too considerate to get married.
The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.
Like everything which is not the involuntary result of fleeting emotion but the creation of time and will, any marriage, happy or unhappy, is infinitely more interesting than any romance, however passionate.
Bring a wife home to your house when you are of the right age, not far short of 30 years, nor much above; this is the right time for marriage.
It’s not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
I think women are natural caretakers. They take care of everybody. They take care of their husbands and their kids and their dogs, and don’t spend a lot of time just getting back and taking time out.
Marriages, like careers, need constant nurturing… the secret of having it all is loving it all.
Sensual pleasures have the fleeting brilliance of a comet; a happy marriage has the tranquillity of a lovely sunset.
On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable.
Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
Well married a person has wings, poorly married shackles.
A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers.
It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
