In Atlanta, my mom came and came downstairs and we were talking like behind the crowd. People from the crowd saw me and started running towards me, asking for pictures and stuff. This girl asked for a picture, and after she got it, she passed out.
I feel like in the old days, it was once it’s a divorce, it’s a constant fight until they die. That’s how my mom and dad lived. They didn’t talk to each other. They hated each other. They only spoke through lawyers. It’s just a horrible way to live.
My mom had me at a young age, like 20, and she was the oldest child. All her brothers were seven and 10, so I was like a younger brother more so than the oldest child. I was the younger brother to all my uncles, so they were going through their childhood and their teenage years, and I was right there.
I am just so thankful that my mom was a fantastic mom. She wasn’t a stage mother; she didn’t push me. She was happy if I was happy. We are so different. I was very shy; my mom did all the talking. She was my strength. She never expected that I would be this ballerina.
My mom being raised in England, her father always wanted to pursue the arts and wanted to have a stage career in England. According to her, he never had the courage to actually pursue it full-time. I think that my grandfather’s parents thought that it wasn’t a formidable job to have.
I was raised by my mom. My dad was always traveling, but she allowed me and encouraged me to be close to my dad. So I grew up with three parents: my mom, my dad and my stepmom. Ninety percent of the time I was with my mom, and 10 percent was with my dad.
I was sitting on my mom’s lap across from my father to see Kay Thompson at Ciro’s. And I always remember this energy force, this woman flying around the room and singing these harmonies so everyone went, ‘Wow!’ So I thought, ‘That’s what I want to do.’
I’m from Manchester, Mass., so it was lobster, lobster and more lobster! Also, lots of fish that we caught in the summers, clam chowder and roast beef sandwiches. But my mom was pretty healthy; we had a lot of chicken and broccoli and rice as well.
I started making music… I guess I was 12, and I started playing ‘Guitar Hero.’ And you know, it got to a point where on expert, you can only exceed to a certain point. And so, you know, I was like, ‘Let’s play real guitar. Let’s not waste more time.’ So, I got my mom, I told her to buy me a guitar for Christmas, and I started making music then.
It’s been a long road. A humble Dearborn beginning. Secretary mom, dad teaching handicapped children. Working for what they had. Eventually, I moved to L.A. but, not good for me, I felt rejected. So I stopped acting and, needing to feel good inside, became a chef.
Every other day I read a book. It takes me two days to finish a book. I like reading because if I’m not doing anything, then I read. If my mom tells me to go take out the trash, I’ll go take out the trash, and come back and start reading again.
Tennis was always there for me, which was lucky. I would go play baseball, basketball, football, hang with my brother, do whatever, and at the end of the day I’d come back and say, ‘Hey, Mom, would you hit 15 minutes worth of balls with me?’
I’m an American designer. It’s important to riff on that. I remember, when my mom and I first came to the States, she was so shocked that everyone was so dressed down in sandals and shorts. It’s not quite like that in Asia. To give that a superluxurious makeover? For me to make street wear? It’s sort of chic to do it.
I have a really big family, and pretty much all my work is about my brothers and sisters. I’m the youngest of eight – my mom had seven kids in seven years, and then she had me 11 years later – so I was basically raised by all these teenagers.
I was taught to think outside the box. Before my grandfather was one of the original Mad Men, he and a group of other Air Force Intelligence officers formalized brainstorming as a problem solving technique. He taught the concept that creativity can be taught at Buffalo University. My dad invented toys. My mom was a photographer.
My dad is an ob-gyn – he’s retired now – and he wanted to come to the States to make a better life, for opportunity. My mom said that, on the plane ride here, I did not want to speak a word of English – I spoke Tagalog. And then, after the first day of school, I didn’t want to speak anything but English.
My parents would drive us to Florida every spring in this big old, rusy Suburban, and we’d collect stuff on the beach for our aquarium back in Ohio; we had this big saltwater aquarium back in Ohio. Every time we found anything, any mollusk, my mom would bring out the guidebook and quiz us on what it was, so that stuff was built in early.
My mom is big on moisturizer and water. She always reminds me to drink a lot of water and wear sunglasses because I always forget them when I go out, even though they are one of my favorite accessories. She always reminds me about wrinkles, and always did, so it’s kind of been ingrained into me.
Mom cooked a lot of turkey when I was growing up. Turkey meatloaf, turkey burgers, ground turkey shepherd’s pie – my childhood was the Bubba Gump of turkey. You’d think I would be sick of it, but when I find gems like Gwyneth Paltrow’s turkey meatball recipe, it’s as though the fowl is no longer foul to me.
My dad was obviously a really quirky, unconventional Asian man who didn’t care about what other people thought. When he would fight with my mom, he would be really dramatic. He would be like, ‘Devil, get away, for I am God’s property.’ He would say crazy things that were so melodramatic but so theatrical and funny.
I am grateful for the lessons I learned from my parents’ sacrifices. They often had trouble making ends meet, so we moved for them to find work. I remember my mom would sometimes take on second jobs, like ironing, just so we could buy groceries.
I realized that if you try to be the perfect mom, perfect wife, perfect actress, you start to feel overwhelmed. You shut down. I got that really fast… I was running back and forth from breast-feeding to filming a scene, overextending myself on every level. I realized I have to make priorities, and my family is number one no matter what.
I actually have no style whatsoever. I’m the worst. I have people I talk to, and I say, ‘Please tell me how to dress because I don’t know what I’m doing.’ The biggest thing for me is my mom. I’m like, ‘Mom, do I look good?’ If she says yes, I’m good to go.
America isn’t Congress. America isn’t Washington. America is the striving immigrant who starts a business, or the mom who works two low-wage jobs to give her kid a better life. America is the union leader and the CEO who put aside their differences to make the economy stronger.
My wife and I both grew up with parents who were very young. Her mom was, I think, 17 or 18 when she was born; my mom was 15 when I was born. So, as we got older, we started thinking a lot about that – about the time that those people missed because we came along when we did and because they devoted so much of their lives to taking care of us.
