The house was big enough for my brother and me to have firecracker wars at one end and leave Mom and Dad undisturbed at the other. When firecrackers weren’t available, we attacked each other with pennies and marbles and clumps of Crisco, which made brilliant greasy asterisks when you missed and hit the wall.
There was this guy, he must have been young, who told me on Twitter: ‘CupcakKe, I just told my mom I’m gay and I’m getting kicked out.’ And it just hit home. I automatically replied, ‘If you need a hotel, I’ll pay for it. Let me make sure you’re OK.’
Toronto is a special city, and the environment is perfect for the arts; free and alive. I’m a New Yorker, and Toronto reminds me of a much cleaner New York, so it’s like coming home after your mom just cleaned your room for you; for me that’s a lovely environment.
Both my parents were Democrats. My dad was definitely more of a fiscally conservative traditional Democrat. My mom was more of a feminist Camelot Democrat. They definitely had an idealistic view of life as it should be in the United States. And they had a sense that government had to have some hand in making people’s lives better.
My mom knew that I was gay. So she just came up to me in the kitchen one night, and she said, ‘Justin, are you a homosexual?’ And I said, ‘Yes,’ and that was that. She took all the steps, she went to talk to a family counselor beforehand to see how she should bring it up, and now my mom’s my biggest fan.
Now, my mom did not read well and she read ‘True Romance’ magazines, but she read with me. And she would spend 30 minutes a day, her finger going along the page, and I learned to read. Eventually, by the time I was four and a half, she could iron and I could sit there and read the ‘True Romance.’ And that was wonderful.
The center stone on my ring is the diamond from my mom’s original engagement ring. My parents have been married 25 years! My dad bought her a new ring a while back, so she kept her original diamond to pass down to me or my sister someday. It is so special having an heirloom ring because I will get to pass it down one day, too.
When my father passed away, I learned to be unattached to physical things. At a very young age, I was able to roam the world and be emotionally connected but physically disconnected. I’ll get homesick in that I miss my mom. My grounding rock is her and my family.
I grew up in Bushwick, and I lived with my mom. She was a single parent with three kids. I’ve got an older brother and a younger sister. We all were pretty active kids, but school wasn’t particularly our strong suit; we were always good at other things.
When you’re adopted, no matter what, you’ve got issues with unconditional love. And you find out you’re the product of the worst situation for a young girl to be in and start her life, and I’m so grateful that my birth mom made the decision she made. She came from a rough situation.
Within months after reading the novel ‘The Hunger Games,’ I went from telling my mom that I could see myself as this character to actually getting the role. My mother reminds me that if I could manifest such an important role just because I wanted it so much, all of my dreams are possible.
My healthiest habit is eating a healthy breakfast every morning. I never miss breakfast. As a busy mom, there will be days when I’m cruisin’ along and I’ll look at the clock and I haven’t eaten lunch. And I’ll run downstairs, and I’ll start shovelin’ stuff down the pie hole, and I’ll think, ‘That was no lunch at all.’
I was home-schooled, was always very close with my mom, and was very straight-laced and square. I was never the rebellious one, and I never threw hissy fits. I was the type of person that would show a Powerpoint presentation about why I should do something versus crying and screaming over it.
I grew up thinking that it’s okay to be sad, angry, and express your emotions. I have also banged doors and fought, as I have seen my mom do that when she would fight with my dad. Everything that I’ve learnt is from them, so I’ve never struggled to express myself.
Coming up in the Bay Area and being African American in a city that has a history of complex issues of violent crime, interaction with the police is always intense. That’s something you have to learn. My mom taught me at a young age that if ever a cop stops you, you put your hands up and freeze – don’t move.
I love New York. I first came here with my Mom when I was in 9th grade. I took the subway for the first time and the doors closed between me and my Mom, and I was so scared. I could see her through the window and I didn’t know what to do. I got off at the next stop and she caught up to me, but I couldn’t stop crying.
If you haven’t heard my story, my mom is full Korean, and my dad is Caucasian. Kids in kindergarten would make fun of me for being Asian, and when you’re that age, you don’t know really how to process that; the way you take that is, ‘Who I am isn’t good enough.’
If someone has money, they can put their child in a private school, paying tens of thousands of dollars for tuition. But their child’s needs are met. What is lacking is options for that single mom with three kids, or just that intact family but lower income.
My birthday is always around Thanksgiving, and I always had to have turkey on my birthday. My mom was always, ‘Let’s celebrate your birthday on Thanksgiving.’ My other siblings got to have special dinners they liked. I resented turkey. For a long time, I hated turkey. I’ve kind of gotten over it.
When I was a child, I would draw these little stick-figures, and my mom would put them up all over the loft and tell me how wonderful they were. Then you get out there into the harsh reality of the world, and you realize not everybody loves every little thing you do the way your mom did.
My inspiration was my mom. She’s a great cook, and she still cooks, and we still banter back and forth about cooking. Growing up in a mostly Portuguese community, food was important and the family table was extremely important. At a very young age I understood that.
There was a phase when I would just loaf around, doing nothing. It had put my mom under a lot of stress. I knew her stress stemmed from her love for me, yet I never paid attention to her feelings. When it finally hit me that my idleness was taking a toll on her, I was genuinely sad and depressed.
I heard the Beatles and the Stones, and Mom bought me an electric guitar. I played lead for four years and then switched to bass. One day someone suggested that I should sing, so I sheepishly stepped up to the microphone and the rest is rock history.
My dad was a bartender. My mom was a cashier, a maid and a stock clerk at K-Mart. They never made it big. They were never rich. And yet they were successful. Because just a few decades removed from hopelessness, they made possible for us all the things that had been impossible for them.
I used to be really shy, and I think something happened in my brain where I was like, ‘All right, I don’t care anymore. I’m just going to be myself.’ So I went to school wearing eyeliner and eye shadow, and they called my mom, telling her it was a distraction. My mom fought the school, and I got to wear makeup every day.
