I didn’t even walk for graduation – I did graduate, though. I got this homeschool deal. I didn’t have to go to school because I was depressed, and my mom wrote all these essays for me. I didn’t write one of them. She literally got me my diploma.
When I was young, I did Baby Guess and Guess Kids – Paul Marciano saw me when I was a baby and decided I was going to be his next whatever. After Guess Kids, my mom made me stop. She would not let me sign with an agency until I was 17 because she wanted me to be a normal kid and accept myself for who I was.
We grew up probably having as hard a life as anybody. A lot of times, we didn’t have any food on the table. At Christmas, everybody else would always get something nice, but we’d get one T-shirt or one shirt… So I want to take care of Mom and Dad… and I’m having a damn good time doing it.
Around 10, I got chubby. I knew I’d crossed a line when the only pants that fit were from the ‘Junior Plenty’ line at JC Penny. My parents had split up, my mom was going through a dark time, and my brother and I were getting bullied in our new neighborhood. Life was big and unsafe.
My mom had done some TV and commercials before I was born, and so when I was born, she knew I had a really big interest in acting because I was always acting in plays with my dolls, and they were sort of boring, because I’ve seen them on tape; they always involved a lot of singing and dragging them around by their hair.
My mom is going to kill me for talking about sleeping with people. But I don’t want to put myself in the position where I’m in a monogamous relationship right now. I’m not dating just one person. ‘Sex and the City’ changed everything for me because those girls would sleep with so many people.
My mom was born in Korea – Seoul, Korea, during the ‘50s, ’51. She was abandoned; her and my uncle were abandoned. My grandfather was a Seabee and adopted my mom and my uncle, and brought them to Compton in the ‘50s. That’s where she was raised.
Growing up in a house where there was a lot of different musical influences – my mom listens to soul stuff and Top 40, my sisters would listen to hip-hop – and the church, I grew up listening to a lot of gospel stuff. So I think that plays a role in how I make music now because my music has a lot of range. I don’t just do one thing.
My father was a soldier. He was a frogman in the special forces in Denmark before I was born, and always the reality of that inspired me. My mom is very left-wing, classic socialist, and she always talked about the solders as almost crazy, violent, sick people, and I want to confront that because its very judgmental, and I’m not sure it’s true.
‘Serial Mom’ tested really well when we finally got with the right audience. But they would go to some shopping mall in a deep, deep suburban L.A. neighborhood where they knew people would hate, and they just wanted to spend money to prove that people wouldn’t like it. The movie was not a success when it came out.
If I should have a daughter, instead of ‘Mom,’ she’s gonna call me ‘Point B,’ because that way she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me. And I’m going to paint solar systems on the backs of her hands so she has to learn the entire universe before she can say, ‘Oh, I know that like the back of my hand.’
He’s the reason why I write music. If he’s reading this – James Taylor, I’d love to work with you! My mom would put headphones on her belly before I was born, so I’ve been listening to him literally all of my life. When my dad played me ‘Walking Man,’ I heard those chord changes and that melody, it completely blew me away.
I didn’t go to many movies. My mom would make a family outing and bring chicken in the theater. Smell up the whole place. The most impactful movies were ‘Godfather II’ and ‘Scarface’. I loved the human complexity, and those movies are so well shot. Cinematic greatness. I really stopped going in my early twenties.
No mother wants to hear her son say he’s gay. Those two words rip the picture of a daughter-in-law and grandchildren into pieces. I felt sorry for my mom and wanted her to know everything was going to be all right. But then she said, ‘I don’t really care, Johnny, as long as I know that you are going to be happy.’
These days it’s cool to be ethnic and to be different, but when I was a kid, it was not cool – at all. My friends would come over and my mom would make crepes with eggs, stuffed with mozzarella cheese, tomatoes and spinach. And they’d be like, ‘What is this?’
I had one little brother and I would use him as a scapegoat to get us games. Obviously, I would get the more girly toys like dolls and Barbies, yadda, yadda, yadda. But I really wanted video games or action figures or something so I would send him to ask mom, ‘Hey, I want this video game’ when it was really we wanted this video game.
My mom was the first African-American woman to graduate from the University of Chicago Law School, in 1946. She had leadership roles in the law, in government and the corporate world. She was a great role model in that she felt anything was possible.
After coating pasta with tomato-rich meat sauce, my mom would drizzle the bottom of a nonstick pot with oil and put it all back in to form a dark crust of tangled noodles. Once she unmolded it at the table like a cake, my brothers and I would excitedly cut into it, verbally laying claim to our preferred pieces.
I was always with a single mom, and we never had schedules or anything. We were just Bohemian, us against the world, which was kind of great, but it certainly didn’t breed security. I’ve gotten hyper-sensitive to schedules and bath time and eating at the dinner table. We don’t just ‘Bohemian’ go out at nine o’clock and go get Chinese food.
I fell in love with hip-hop a little bit late; I grew up on Another Bad Creation and Kris Kross. But my mom got me a TV in my room, and I remember seeing Biggie’s ‘Give Me One More Chance,’ and I was like, ‘Oh, this is how a house party looks!’ I really, really fell in love with it when Tupac created ‘Dear Mama.’
I didn’t have a lot of skin care products when I was a kid – my parents were very au naturale – and I think I was about 9 years old when my girlfriend told me she used Biore. I was like, ‘Hmm, never heard of it.’ So my mom took me to the store, and I picked out five different things and have been literally using it ever since.
When I was about 12, I came home from middle school and told my parents I wanted to be an actor. My father didn’t say it to me, but he told my mom, ‘No. I’m not going to allow that. He’ll starve to death.’ I grew up in a small town in Illinois where being an actor was not something people did.
You have to find a man that’s going to respect you. With my husband, I tell him all the time the fact that he grew up in a home with his mom and his dad and they were married until he was grown made him have certain values and certain respect for me.
I really saw my mom advocate on my behalf and really say, ‘Hey, you’re good enough.’ It was from her that I learned that just because something hasn’t been done before, it doesn’t mean it can’t be done now. You have to speak up, and you’ve got to assert yourself because it takes somebody to be the first one to make it happen.
One of the biggest things growing up that my dad taught me is that if I was okay to talk about my feelings and express how I felt and not get angry, then he would listen to me. If I had issues, I would just tell him, ‘Here’s how I feel, this is what I’m feeling,’ either with him or with my mom.
