Elder mocked me for praying once, and i spent an hour berating him for that. He ended up throwing up his hands, laughing, and telling me i could believe whatever i wanted if i was going to hold onto my beliefs so hard.
…that was before I’d started thinking about how life stuck on a ship wouldn’t be so bad if Elder walked around pantless more.
She is trying to control me with fear, because she cannot control me any other way.My eyes open wide. They burn as if they are on fire—no, as if they are made of fire. Eyes are the window to the soul.
It’s all in my mind.I’m in my right mind now, and my right mind is crazy.”You need to wake up, Ella.”The words are a command I cannot obey.
And this is what she wants to do to people. Let them have their own lives, until she wants them. Give them the strength of giants, but not the power to control it.
And I know what I told my father was true: let us taste the world, and we’ll do whatever it takes to shape it into our home.
Be fearless. Write what you want. Write how you want. Create art.
As soon as I say the words, I know they were the right ones. My eyes dip down to Dad’s memorial plaque. Truth doesn’t lie in the heart of fortune… it’s under Triumph Towers, where the labs are.
And I try to remember if this happened before, because this is a memory I would want to keep.But there is no echo of it in my mind.
We are, at least in part, who we remember ourselves to be. Take away our memories, and you take away our selves.
(D)reams are like that: they go in and out of memories and scenes, but they’re never real. They’re never real, and I hate them because they aren’t.
It was to apologize, and apologizing means he remembers what happened, and that means being trapped in a nightmare that’s already come true.
I’m sorry.’ The two most inadequate words in the English language.
I have no emotions. I just stand there, in the rubble of my life.This… this was my home. If it were a person, this would be a gaping chest wound, the kind no one can recover from.
I reached inside her and pulled out the deepest memories in her body, the memories that words can’t describe, the memories that are as much a piece of her as her arms and legs. Those are the ones she’s filled with now.
Amy pulls away and looks into my face. Her pale skin is blotchy red, her eyes are veined and shadowed, and a shiny line of snot trickles from her nose to the top of he
The freedom of our people is more important!” Julie says fiercely. “We will never stop fighting, never stop working for what is right!”Jack just smiles at her. “That’s a nice lie to believe,” he says.
I would use the same word to describe both my joy and the rain: torrential. This—this—this is all I ever wanted from the world: wide-open spaces and cooling rain and the chance to run.
I have emotions,” I whisper. I am nothing but a black hole of emotions.
Maybe one day the smears of paint Harley left throughout Godspeed will fade, and maybe the stars never will, but i’d rather have Harley’s colors.
And I look at Harley, and the billions of stars are in his eyes, and he’s drinking them up, pouring them into his soul.
I cannot imagine a more perfect hell than being trapped inside my own mind.
What you really want to know,” I say, “is how to make sure we all don’t just rip each other apart, right?” The fight earlier is way too fresh in our minds. We are a powder keg; just a spark will blow us apart.
If I can only see him in madness, is it worth trying to hold onto sanity?
How ironic it would be, to die at his hands while trying to save him, when he first came to me because he was trying to save me.
Kayleigh was right. Without the pills, you really do feel nothing.And nothing can be nice.
When you wake up, your face will be dry. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t cry.
Ella!” the voice yells, but I cannot tell where it is coming from. The sound wraps around me, spreading like spilt water and then evaporating into silence.
There are countless reasons to be jealous. But that doesn’t mean you have to succumb to them.
People are, at their heart, constantly moving toward a state of entropy. Much like this ship. We’re all spiraling out of control.
She stops speaking, but I can hear her silent sobs. They’re the loudest thing I’ve ever heard.
My heart stutters—not why? or how?—those are not the important questions. The really important question is: by whom?
More than the sound of my own beating heart, I miss the sound of a ticking clock. Time passes. It must pass….
What matters right now is this: we’re each of us standing here, together, alive, together.