This is one of the marks of a truly safe person: they are confrontable.
Clarity leads to attention and attention leads to results.
When leaders lead in ways that people’s brains can follow, good results follow as well.
As a leader, you are always going to get a combination of two things: What you create and What you allow.
We grow in part by confessing our faults and weaknesses to each other (James 5:16; Eccl. 4:10). If we are always being strong and without needs, we are not growing, and we are setting ourselves up for a very dangerous fall.
Couples often live out years of falsehood trying to protect and save a relationship, all the while destroying any chance of real relationship.
To forgive someone means to let him off the hook, or to cancel a debt he owes you. When you refuse to forgive someone, you still want something from that person, and even if it is revenge you want, it keeps you tied to him forever.
Just as we leave the effects of our work behind in results, we leave the effects of our interactions with people in their hearts, minds, and souls.
Who a person is will ultimately determine if their brains, talents, competencies, energy, effort, deal-making abilities, and opportunities will succeed.
We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.
Leave your pride, ego, and narcissism somewhere else. Reactions from those parts of you will reinforce your children’s most primitive fears.
If your boundary training consists only of words, you are wasting your breath. But if you ‘do’ boundaries with your kids, they internalize the experiences, remember them, digest them, and make them part of how they see reality.
Mature, healthy people need other people; they don’t isolate themselves…Needing love isn’t being immature. Rather, it gives us the energy we need to go out and slay our dragons.
Setting boundaries isn’t an alternative to loving your child. It is a means of loving her.
Be careful not to give your child the impression that you love her perfect, performing parts more than you do her mediocre, stumbling parts.
Encourage literally came from “in courage.” The courage is put “into” you from outside. Our character and abilities grow through internalizing from others what we do not possess in ourselves.
When people are vulnerable to control, they feel that they are selfish for deciding what to do with their own property. In reality, deciding for ourselves is the only way we can ever have true love, for then we are giving freely.
Values are sometimes worth living and dying for, and are certainly worth dating and breaking up over.
Be wary of someone who has never failed, or seem to have no faults… Too good to be true usually is. Perfection hides something.
Even with the desire for a better life, we can be reluctant to do the work of boundaries because it will be a war. The battle falls into two categories: outside resistance we get from others and the resistance we get from ourselves.
Boundaries help us to distinguish our property so that we can take care of it. They help us to “guard our heart with all diligence.” We need to keep things that will nurture us inside our fences and keep things that will harm us outside.
People with a style of denial and blaming are definitely on the list of unsafe people to avoid. 10.
Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize when something’s time has passed and be able to move into the next season. Everything that is alive requires pruning as well, which is a great metaphor for endings.
In a very real way, ownership is the essence of leadership. When you are ‘ridiculously in charge,’ then you own whatever happens in a company, school, et cetera.
I fell in love with the topic of leadership. For three decades, that has been a major focus of my hands-on work: listening to and working with leaders, their teams and their organizations.
What happens with a lot of leaders is that their leadership style is like ADD they are all over the place with different ideas. They could be driving one idea forward but then move on to something else too soon.
People tend to look at dating sort of like a safari – like they’re trying to land the trophy.
The physicality of a real relationship – one that encompasses mind, body and soul – ultimately makes it more fulfilling and powerful than any virtual relationship ever could be.
We know from research that growth is actually contagious, so if you want to reach your goals, you’ve got to get around people that are going in the same direction you want to be going, and you will catch the success.