God gave us dreams, but he gave us kids to make all those dreams worthwhile. And when I look at all my kids, I say everything that I’ve ever went through in my life was worthwhile.
I’m glad I dropped out of high school, man. I wouldn’t be where I’m at. I would have had a net. I’m glad I didn’t have anything to fall back on, man, because that made me go for my dreams that much harder.
My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.
If I had to describe my sense of humor, I would say it’s contemporary wit, you know what I’m saying?
Tracy Morgan is subdued. I’m cool. I’m chilled out.
I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it’s cool to have strong and powerful pets.
Cool is the enemy of funny. You can’t be cool and be funny at the same time. Only Eddie Murphy could do that.
People live too much of their lives on email or the Internet or text messages these days. We’re losing all of our communication skills.
You can’t hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I’m just a comedian. My job is like Archie Bunker.
I have my Lucky Charms in the morning, and I feel magical.
Bad news travels at the speed of light good news travels like molasses.
Being funny wasn’t a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; a way to survive another day.
I’m a human being. I feel all emotions. I’m not just happy all the time. Sometimes, I’m sad and feel the blues. Sometimes I even want to feel the blues. Sometimes, you want to feel down.
You get somebody to crack a smile, that’s a beautiful thing.
The most romantic thing I ever did to my woman? I painted her toenails!
I do stand up sometimes out of anger. Sometimes the greatest stuff comes from a dark place.
Listen, Bruce Lee fought out of anger. That’s why they call it the ‘Fists of Fury.’ Michael Jackson danced with fury. I do stand up out of fury. I’m not mad at anybody. I’m not mad at any human being because I’m a human being.
I deal with my sons like young men. If they have a problem with something, they come to me. I am the type of dad that will drop everything I am doing for them, and always tell them to talk to me about it.
My father was the role model I looked up to. My dad was an entertainer, too. I patterned my life after him. He wanted me to do better than he did. He never sold a record in his life, but to me, he was still a rock star.