Love is not the absence of logicbut logic examined and recalculatedheated and curved to fitinside the contours of the heart
The truth was, he now belonged only to my past, and it was time I begin to accept it, as much as it hurt to do so.
I try to be rational and suppress the hope that this is for real, but hope has a way of closing its eyes to reason and it just keeps growing.
I was so afraid of wanting too much that I couldn’t trust her handing me a shot at getting it. I don’t want to be that senselessly fearful ever again.
Not stupid. Overly trusting, maybe, but that reflects on his lack of trustworthiness, not on your intelligence.
It isn’t fair how I doubt him, and I wonder if he’ll ever gather that my loss of faith extends further than I’d ever known it would, severing lines of trust and leveling my confidence like a city-flattening tornado.
There are a million ways to lose someone you love.
We were encouraged to propose safetyprevention suggestions, and write them all down— locking doors, walking or exercising with a friend, wearing shoes that don’t hinder running. Erin’s suggestion of “Avoid assholes” was popular.
I felt the threads of connection between us—fragile filaments, so easily snapped. Like the poem at shift into his side, we were craving to fit inside the other, and is melting and reshaping could be deeper, more resilient.
I shrugged. “I guess that guys who’d never do something like that have a hard time believing some other guy would,” I said, but I could see her point. Awareness and apologies were fine and good, but they could come too late.
But girls willing to share your bed don’t equal girls willing to put up with your random crap moods, listen to your exhaustive legal opinions, or support your life’s goals the way someone who loves you would.
I had become Harry Potter. Except I was thirteen and not magic, and my destiny, whatever it was, held no profound purpose.
She shuddered. “What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then.