I swear if Washington moved any slower, we could be at war and it would all be over before they could even lift their sluggish, naked, dead asses off of their comfortable heated-seat toilets. -Fitzhugh to Captain Jeeter
We enjoy talking about music, politics, and subjugation. —Kinky Friedman to Night Rider on KOKE-FM
Give little people a little power, and it goes straight to their ugly, little heads. -Foot talks about authority
A little holiday spirit lives forever in everyone. Test your own holiday spirit. Give away all of it you can. You’ll see, it comes right back to you.
…have you always been a jackass or is that something you’ve just recently acquired at the ‘I Want to be a Junior Jackass’ store? -Weasel to Army Lieutenant
Why would a comediotic guy like Buzz Aldrin worry about who said what first? He was on the %$#@!+-oon!
Time was unending when charmed, captivated, even delighted by the mystical motion of the ocean!
Seasickness in itself is not contagious, but I’m pretty sure that puking is extremely contagious.
If you run, you better be faster than my gun. -Weasel to illegal aliens
My name is Richard Werner. Dick. You can call me Dick.
I can stomach just about anything… After all, I can deal with politicians… I don’t have any problem not puking on them! —Debra Wright, KNUT Reporter