Love is not primarily a relationship to a specific person; it is an attitude, an ordination of character which determines the relatedness of the person to the whole world as a whole, not toward one object of love
Infantile love follows the principle: “I love because I am loved.” Mature love follows the principle: “I am loved because I love.” Immature love says: “I love you because I need you.” Mature love says: “I need you because I love you.
We are a society of notoriously unhappy people: lonely, anxious, depressed, destructive, dependent — people who are glad when we have killed the time we are trying so hard to save.
The whole life of the individual is nothing but the process of giving birth to himself; indeed, we should be fully born when we die – although it is the tragic fate of most individuals to die before they are born.
There is nothing inhuman, evil, or irrational which does not give some comfort, provided it is shared by a group.
If faith cannot be reconciled with rational thinking, it has to be eliminated as an anachronistic remnant of earlier stages of culture and replaced by science dealing with facts and theories which are intelligible and can be validated.
Love is the active concern for the life and the growth of that which we love. Where this active concern is lacking, there is no love.
Modern man thinks he loses something – time – when he does not do things quickly. Yet he does not know what to do with the time he gains, except kill it.
For despite what some people say, love is not only a sweet falling bound to come and quickly go away.
The real opposition is that between the ego-bound man, whose existence is structured by the principle of having, and the free man, who has overcome his egocentricity.
Ethical principles stand above the existence of the nation and that by adhering to these principles an individual belongs to the community of all those who share, who have shared, and who will share this belief.
Is love an art? Then it requires knowledge and effort.
The danger of the past was that men became slaves. The danger of the future is that men may become robots.
That millions of people share the same forms of mental pathology does not make these people sane.
People do not see that the main question is not : “Am I loved?” which is to a large extent the question : “Am I approved of? Am I protected? Am I admired?” The main question is: “Can I love?
Progress in social psychology is necessary to counteract the dangers which arise from the progress in physics and medicine.
the key problem of psychology is that of the specific kind of relatedness of the individual towards the world and not that of the satisfaction or frustration of this or that instinctual need per se
We consume, as we produce, without any concrete relatedness to the objects with which we deal; We live in a world of things, and our only connection with them is that we know how to manipulate or to consume them.
We… have created a greater material wealth than any other society in the history of the human race. Yet we have managed to kill off millions of our population in an arrangement which we call “war.
If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to all others, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism.
Just as modern mass production requires the standardization of commodities, so the social process requires standardization of man, and this standardization is called equality.
Psychology as a science has its limitations, and, as the logical consequence of theology is mysticism, so the ultimate consequence of psychology is love.
To be concentrated means to live fully in the present, in the here and now, and not to think of the next thing to be done, while I am doing something right now.
Erotic love, if it is love, has one premise. That I love from the essence of my being—and experience the other person in the essence of his or her being. In essence, all human beings are identical. We are all part of One; we are One.
While we teach knowledge, we are losing that teaching which is the most important one for human development: the teaching which can only be given by the simple presence of a mature, loving person.
Only in the love of those who do not serve a purpose, love begins to unfold.
What a person considers the minimal necessities depends as much on his character as it depends on his actual possessions.
People think that to love is simple, but that to find the right object to love – or to be loved by – is difficult.
The sexual act without love never bridges the gap between two human beings, except momentarily..
The sexual act without love never bridges the gap between two human beings, except momentarily.
To feel completely alone and isolated leads to mental disintegration just as physical starvation leads to death.
The field of human relations in Freud’s sense is similar to the market—it is an exchange of satisfaction of biologically given needs, in which the relationship to the other individual is always a means to an end but never an end in itself.
To transcend nature, to be alienated from nature and from another human being, finds man naked, ashamed. He is alone and free, yet powerless and afraid.
Human nature, though being the product of historical evolution, has certain inherent mechanisms and laws, to discover which is the task of psychology.
Man’s nature, his passions, and anxieties are a cultural product; as a matter of fact, man himself is the most important creation and achievement of the continuous human effort, the record of which we call history.
The supremacy of cerebral, manipulative thinking goes together with an atrophy of emotional life.
If the religious system does not correspond to the prevalent social character, if it conflicts with the social practice of life, it is only an ideology.
They have their big, ever-changing egos, but none has a self, a core, a sense of identity.
Those who unconsciously despair yet put on the mask of optimism are not necessarily wise. But those who have not given up hope can succeed only if they are hardheaded realists, shed all illusions, and fully appreciate the difficulties.
The cruelty itself is motivated by something deeper: the wish to know the secret of things and of life.
Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.
Man does not suffer so much from poverty today as he suffers from the fact that he has become a cog in a large machine, an automaton, that his life has become empty and lost its meaning.
Even the most sadistic and destructive man is human, as human as the saint.
The paradoxical situation with a vast number of people today is that they are half asleep when awake, and half awake when asleep, or when they want to sleep.
The bureaucrat is a man who administers things and people, and who relates himself to people as to things.
The only way in which the world can be grasped ultimately lies, not in thought, but in the act, in the experience of oneness.
There is perhaps no phenomenon which contains so much destructive feeling as ‘moral indignation,’ which permits envy or hate to be acted out under the guise of virtue.
Today we take for granted that we are we. Yet the doubt about ourselves still exists, or has even grown.
Capitalism puts things (capital) higher than life (labor). Power follows from possession, not from activity.
Equality today means “sameness” rather than “oneness”.
The doubt itself will not disappear as long as man does not overcome his isolation and as long as his place in the world has not become a meaningful one in terms of his human needs.
Greed is a bottomless pit which exhausts the person in an endless effort to satisfy the need without ever reaching satisfaction.
Immature loves says ‘ I love because I need you. Mature love says I need you because I love you.
Authority is not a quality one person ‘has,’ in the sense that he has property or physical qualities. Authority refers to an interpersonal relation in which one person looks upon another as somebody superior to him.
Free man is by necessity insecure thinking man by necessity uncertain.
Free man is by necessity insecure thinking man by necessity uncertain.
The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers.
Only the person who has faith in himself is able to be faithful to others.
Love means to commit oneself without guarantee to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.
There is only one meaning of life: the act of living itself.
Greed is a bottomless pit which exhausts the person in an endless effort to satisfy the need without ever reaching satisfaction.
Only the person who has faith in himself is able to be faithful to others.
If it is a virtue to love my neighbor as a human being it must be a virtue – and not a vice – to love myself since I am a human being too.
Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.
Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.
Immature love says “I love you because I need you.” Mature love says “I need you because I love you.”
Modern man thinks he loses something-time-when he does not do things quickly. Yet he does not know what to do with the time he gains- except kill it.
The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and in a sense tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother’s side yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother and to become fully independent.
The quest for certainty blocks the search for meaning. Uncertainty is the very condition to impel man to unfold his powers.
Free man is by necessity insecure thinking man is by necessity uncertain.
I think if you ask people what their concept of heaven is they would say if they are honest that it is a big department store with new things every week – all the money to buy them and maybe a little more than the neighbours.
Integrity simply means a willingness not to violate one’s identity.
Immature love says “I love you because I need you.” Mature love says “I need you because I love you.”
Immature love says “I love you because I need you.” Mature love says “I need you because I love you.”
Immature love says “I love you because I need you.” Mature love says “I need you because I love you.”
Immature love says “I love you because I need you.” Mature love says “I need you because I love you.”
Immature love says “I love you because I need you.” Mature love says “I need you because I love you.”
Immature love says “I love you because I need you.” Mature love says “I need you because I love you.”
Immature love says “I love you because I need you.” Mature love says “I need you because I love you.”
Immature love says “I love you because I need you.” Mature love says “I need you because I love you.”
Integrity simply means a willingness not to violate one’s identity.
Only the person who has faith in himself is able to be faithful to others.
There is only one meaning of life the act of living itself.
Human beings had two basic orientations: HAVING and BEINGHAVING: seeks to acquire, posses things even peopleBEING: focuses on the experience; exchanging, engaging, sharing with other people
We all dream; we do not understand our dreams, yet we act as if nothing strange goes on in our sleep minds, strange at least by comparison with the logical, purposeful doings of our minds when we are awake.
Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you.’
Mother’s love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved.
Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.
In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two.
If I am what I have and if I lose what I have who then am I?
The capacity to be puzzled is the premise of all creation, be it in art or in science.
Just as modern mass production requires the standardization of commodities, so the social process requires standardization of man, and this standardization is called equality.
Why should society feel responsible only for the education of children, and not for the education of all adults of every age?
Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.
The ordinary man with extraordinary power is the chief danger for mankind – not the fiend or the sadist.
There is no meaning to life except the meaning man gives his life by the unfolding of his powers.
Only the person who has faith in himself is able to be faithful to others.
The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal.
The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother’s side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent.
There can be no real freedom without the freedom to fail.