Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible. Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
People ask me about ‘The Hurt Locker’ a lot, and it’s an incredible piece of filmmaking – as are ‘Band of Brothers’ and ‘Platoon’ and ‘Full Metal Jacket’ and ‘Apocalypse Now.’ But they’re not necessarily true to war in a literal sense. What they are, really, are brilliant movies about Hollywood’s idea of war.
You know how I came up with the name ‘Road to the Super Bowl?’ It’s an homage to the old Bob Hope – Bing Crosby buddy movies – you know, like ‘Road to Zanzibar’ or ‘Road to Morocco.’ Can you tell? All I’ve done my whole life is go to movies.
I hate Bollywood. The movies are all garbage, just terrible. It’s my opinion; obviously, there are billions who like and love them. I don’t like all the singing, dancing and all the dramatic crying. I have never seen a Bollywood film in my life.
As a kid growing up, I really hated being alone. I was always that kid that was like, ‘Do you want to hang out? Let’s go to the mall. Let’s go to the movies. Let’s go to the park.’ I would call people and call people and call people. If I was alone when I wasn’t at school, then there was something wrong.
I’ve started movies without screenplays both on ‘Clash’ and on ‘Hulk,’ and that is tremendously stressful because you have a tendency to overcompensate with effects. You haven’t tested it in your head. You didn’t run it over and over again and covered all of the plot holes and figure it out. It’s a marathon that you sprint.
With movies, depending on who your director is or what kind of movie you’re shooting, you kind of have more of an ability to play around with the material, go off the page, improv. It’s like we did with ‘21 And Over.’ Same thing we did in ‘Walk Of Shame.’ Same thing we did in ‘House Bunny.’ You have the freedom to do that.
The child stars who emerged from Disney boot camp and dominated pop culture in the late ‘90s and ’00s are not only still around but also have spawned successors who have proven even more indispensable to the business of music, movies, and television.
There will always be a slight difference between the reel and the real. Even my family might know 99 per cent about me, but there will be this one per cent about me that nobody will ever know. Being in this profession, I am fine with biopics or movies inspired by real-life-characters.
I started watching so many different types of women, saw all the complexities of them, all the ways and the look and shapes they could be, and I felt it was missing for me in American film. I didn’t see anybody I was watching in movies that felt like me. I felt rather tortured and lonely about it.
I didn’t go to many movies. My mom would make a family outing and bring chicken in the theater. Smell up the whole place. The most impactful movies were ‘Godfather II’ and ‘Scarface’. I loved the human complexity, and those movies are so well shot. Cinematic greatness. I really stopped going in my early twenties.
Sometimes I make very selfish choices; like I did ‘Once Upon A Time’ for my inner 8-year-old and my hypothetical future child. I’ve done some movies because I would regret them if I didn’t, but other projects I’ve done because they’ve scared me or if I felt I needed to do a big romantic comedy to help me professionally.
I think that’s what distinguishes Schmidt, really. In the movies now, so much of what is appealing to an audience is the dramatic or has to do with science fiction, and Schmidt is simply human. There’s no melodrama; there’s no device, It’s just about a human being.
‘Ernest Borgnine’ is sort of my version of Woody Allen’s ‘Purple Rose Of Cairo’ in that it’s about the occasional difficulty of coming to terms with the cold hard facts and the temptation to escape into another world – like movies, for example. I’m a pro at escaping.
My role models are Madhuri Dixit and Kajol. Both actresses have done a wide variety of roles. That is something I wish to do. On the other hand, I also want to be like a Hugh Jackman or an Angelina Jolie because of the lives they have outside movies. Because of the kind of balance they strike between their work and life outside of it.
Whatever happened to books? Suddenly everybody’s talking about these 100-hour movies called ‘Breaking Bad’. People are talking about TV the same way they used to talk about novels back in the 1980s. I like to think I hang out with some pretty smart people, but all they talk about is ‘Breaking Bad.’
I decided at age 9, but I was reinforced at age 13 when a teacher told me I had talent. I can’t say she really motivated me because I already knew. I knew I had talent. I went to the Jewish community theater and got in plays there. Then I went for the movies.’
I think it’s more interesting to see people who don’t feel appropriately. I relate to that, because sometimes I don’t feel anything at all for things I’m supposed to, and other times I feel too much. It’s not always like it is in the movies.
I mean, if you look at all the great romantic screwbally kind of movies from the ‘30s and ’40s, they’re all in New York. Even ‘Sleepless in Seattle,’ a movie about Seattle, ends up in New York, of course. The whole country, even if they’ve never been to New York, knows about it… from the movies.
We appreciate quiet living. It’s not exactly a Hollywood way of life – I couldn’t stand living out in Hollywood because you can never escape from the business. All people ever do is talk about movies. At least in New York you can have some other life.
The first fashion show I ever attended was for Ritu Beri in 1997 or 1998. I think that was the first time Ritu had designed for one of my movies ‘Yeh Raastein Hain Pyaar Ke.’ She had done a show in Paris, and she had done the same show in Delhi. It was very eclectic, and I love the way she combines colours and makes them flamboyant.
When we go to see comedians or funny movies, they don’t address the wall behind them; they face us. This is why a game’s first job is to entertain through gameplay and secondarily through humor, drama, or other traditional entertainment devices. The humor has to be a gentleman. I mean, it needs to be squeezed in around the game.
I’ve done movies for certain reasons; I did ‘Anaconda’ because the black man lives. Simple. The black man isn’t dead in the first three pages, like Jurassic Park. It’s like, ‘The black man kills the snake with a Latino girl? Damn! I got to do this.’
Throughout the movies’ golden age, the Western enriched Hollywood financially and artistically. But in the 1970s, the genre lost its audience appeal to fantasy films of the ‘Star Wars’ stripe, which told more or less the same story – elemental animosities leading to an armed showdown – but at a faster tempo, and in outer space.
I’ve done a great job at being universal in my stand-up, which is why, for ‘Let Me Explain,’ I toured all over the world. These movies I have coming out – ‘Ride Along,’ ‘Grudge Match,’ ‘About Last Night,’ ‘Think Like a Man Too’ – are putting me in a position to become universal on an even bigger scale.
