Confidence is ignorance. If you’re feeling cocky, it’s because there’s something you don’t know.
It’s like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.
If you were me, then I’d be you, and if I were you, then I’d hide somewhere far away.
No matter what dimension you’re in, there’s a big-headed male trying to take over the world.
Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder
Who are you?” he asked.I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on.
Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building.
Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa,” intoned Opal, finishing her chant. “Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.
Look!” said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, “Someone who cares!
A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.
I bet,” said Mulch, “that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn.”Opal tapped the suggestion into a small electronic notepad on her pocket computer.Thanks for that. Now, tell me everything.
I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.
Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?
What’s that supposed to mean? A wolf’s head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?
Really, I’m trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she’s singing, but it doesn’t appear to be over
She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.-Artemis Fowl
Young love is common, but that doesn’t mean it’s not precious.
Wait,” said Butler. “Just wait, Holly. Artemis has a plan.” He squinted through the green dome. “What is your plan, Artemis?”All Artemis could do was smile and shrug.
They have gone. And the tunnel is about to close. So, boys, I am looking for someone to blame.
I don’t suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?
Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander.
Orion nodded, then asked, “Dwarf cheese?”“Cheese made by dwarfs.”“Oh,” said Orion, relieved. “They make it. It’s not actually . . .”“No. What a horrible thought.”“Exactly.
Naturally, we lunatics are the kindest of the bunch.
Time to do what he did best – plot dastardly acts.
Tonight, history was going to be made. And it wasn’t the discovery-of-radium, first-man-on-the-moon happy kind of history. It was the Spanish-Inquisition, here-comes-the-Hindenburg bad kind of history.
… even one centimetre can make an awful lot of difference when you don’t have many to spare.
The thing about a diversion is that it has to be diverting.
The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese.
Well, I don’t like the first bit and I don’t know the last bit. So I’m really hoping the middle bit is exceptional.
Friendship isn’t a science mudboy. Just do what you think is right.
Ambition had a price, and that price was friendship.
Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.
Who or what inspires you?””I must admit that I often read my own articles in scientific journals and inspire myself.
Other men look up and down, left and right; but men like us are different. We are visionaries.
He had seen bigger men than he with mummy’s handkerchief clutched in on hand and a bloody dagger in the other.
Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they’d phone their lawyer on the way down.
In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter—they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught.
Excuse me, Tex,” the nurse said, hands on hips. ‘Would you mind reining in the voice. There are babies being born in this hospital. We wouldn’t want the first sound they hear to be your painful howling. There could be lawsuits.
You still awake?’ asked the anesthetist.’Nope,’ I replied.
Evolution is a theory with more holes than a Dutch dam of swiss cheese.
Ignorance, as they say, is usually fatal, but sometimes it can be bliss.
That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart.
Conor, I could search the world for another swashbuckling scientist, but I doubt if I would find one like you.
A monkey glances up and sees a banana, and that’s as far as he looks. A visionary looks up and sees the moon.
Are you an angel or a devil, sir? I need to know. Are you taking me up or down?
Well, young man, have you found anyone worthy of your respect?”Artemis smiled back. “Yes,” he said. “I believe I have.
Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron.
Of course I saved you,” she said. “I couldn’t do without you.” And because she was happy and flushed with magic, Holly leaned down and kissed Artemis, magic sparking around the contact like tiny fireworks.
Giving evidence against one’s employers was the first step to unemployment.
Don’t hate me forever, Arty,” whispered Holly. “I couldn’t bear that.
How could you…? How?””Logically you have no right to be angry. I simply followed your l
They were in a position of total ignorance and people in that position often died without being enlightened.
The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers’ head.
How did that go” [Butler] asked. “Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age.”“Fabulous,” said Artemis, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “We’re planning a June wedding.
It was no time for mercy, it was time to terminate with extreme prejudice.
Careful, Mr. Spiro, guns are dangerous. Especially the end with the hole.
Victor Vigny: A monkey glances up and sees a banana, and that’s as far as he looks. A visionary looks up and sees the moon.Conor Broekhart: Which resembles a giant banana.
No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children’s menu. I have no doubt that the children’s menu itself tastes better than the meals on it. I would like to order à la carte. Or don’t you serve fish to minors?
All we can hope for is that he will fall into the ocean with a bar of soap in his pocket.
… desperate times required judicious risk-taking.
We are different, my friend. We are visionaries. A monkey looks up and sees and banana, and that is as far as he looks. But a visionary looks up and sees the moon.
I know what dissipate means, Arty. I’m not three, for heaven’s sake.
*to thor* Zeus had replied that he had pulled fluffballs of lint out of his bellybutton that were bigger than Asgard
The humans were protecting their heritage, or so they thought. Strange that Mud Men seem more concerned about the past than the present.
Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?”Artemis blinked. “Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.
Meg and Belch only had eyes for each other. Not in the usual romantic sense.
A pity to survive night flights over St. Georges Channel only to crack my skull falling from a ladder.