Where’s your sense of adventure?It died under mysterious circumstances. My sense of self-preservation found the body, but assures me it has an airtight alibi.-Captain Tagon & Captain Andreyasn
Maxim 3: An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks everybody.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Maxim 29: The enemy of my enemy is my enemy’s enemy. No more. No less.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Judging by the sounds of general panic, I want a gun like that.
Maxim 37: There is no “overkill.” There is only “open fire” and “reload.”-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Spy’ is such a short ugly word. I prefer ‘espionage.’ Those extra three syllables really say something.
Maxim 11: Everything is air-droppable at least once.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Right now I’ve got just two rules to live by.Rule one: don’t taunt elephants.Rule two: don’t stand next to anybody who taunts elephants.-Sergeant Schlock
The Tausennigan Ob’enn warlords look like cuddly teddy-bears?””Yes, they do, and they’d cheerfully exterminate your entire race for making that observation!””I guess that explains their rich military history, then.
Maxim 8: Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it’s on the far side of the airlock.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Oh, that’s great. That way, when things have quieted down, and we come up for air, or money, or re-supply, we’ll get a nice explosive package from him that says “so nice to see you again” in a way that only multi-megaton yields can.
As long as we only have to lie to the enemy, it’s honest enough for me.-Captain Tagon
Maxim 36: When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Maxim 16: Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
When the enemy of my enemy is willing to use plasma weapons inside a hotel, I think I can do better than stupid aphorisms, General.-Captain Kevyn Andreyasn
So you’re a fellow mercenary, then.””Does this mean you’ll afford me some professional courtesy?””Don’t ask for that. All it means is that you might get to face the person who kills you. . . But only if it’s convenient.
Ennesby, get the Serial Peacemaker to the beach for dustoff.””Dustoff? You’re going to run away from three guys?””No, I’m going to kill or capture those three guys, and then run away from the Police.
Technically, you don’t pay me.And technically, most of what I do is “think.”I…rrr. ummm.And when you get right down to it, I’m better at it than you are.-Ennesby & Captain Tagon
Yes, but none of them can steal my ship.None of them are smart enough to know that it was the right thing to do at the time.
How many words are you having trouble with, sir?””Just the ones that I’ve highlighted.””I count at least a dozen, and I haven’t gotten out of the first paragraph.””That’s as far as I got, too. I’m not sure you and I speak the same language.
Maxim 6: If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Maxim 4: Close air support covereth a multitude of sins.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.Cross it? I’m making plans to destroy the bridge from orbit.-Colonel Ceeta & Captain Tagon
That’s odd. It looks almost as if Nick is picking a fight with that elephant.””Well, the elephant started it.””That’s irrelevant. Fighting with civilians is against the rules. Go break it up.”-Admiral Breya Andreyasn & Sergeant Schlock
No! Wait! I’ve got a better idea…””Your ideas tend to result in unnecessary violence, Sergeant Schlock.””And your point is…””Let’s broaden the definition of ‘necessary’.
You’re more mean-spirited than I remember you being.””It’s this organic body. Hologram fur wasn’t itchy.
Welcome to your new bodies, gentlemen. If you’d like, I can help you start your own ‘dysmorphia is all in your head’ support group.
Ow. Stop that. It hurts my brain.Isn’t your brain distributed through your entire body?See why I want you to stop with the doublethink?-Sergeant Schlock & Captain Tagon
I’ll leave you two alone. Morality might be contagious.
AAAAIIIE!You’re the guy with the things, and the thing that does that thing, and then you did that one thing!Oh, and I think there’s something about other things, and maybe you fix things?-Sergeant Schlock
Does that mean that if we shave all the Ob’enn they’ll be nice?
Two minutes worth of signal analysis told me all I needed to know. This station “talks” to the dark matter universe about what goes on inside.””How did you cobble together a jammer so quickly?””I had one on me.
Maxim 30: A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you’ll go.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.
Maxim 10: Sometimes the only way out is through… through the hull.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
What do you think? Overkill?””I don’t believe there is any such thing.But in this case, ‘yes, overkill.
Maxim 12: A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Maxim 27: Don’t be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
The spirit of the law is the least of the things we’re prepared to violate.
When I find the guy who torched that forest, I’m going to eat him. And I’m only going to half-cook him first.-Sergeant Schlock
Maxim 20: If you’re not willing to shell your own position, you’re not willing to win.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Maxim 28: If the price of collateral damage is high enough, you might be able to get paid for bringing ammunition home with you.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Maxim 18: If the officers are leading from in front, watch out for an attack from the rear.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Maxim 2: A sergeant in motion outranks a lieutenant who doesn’t know what’s going on.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Maxim 15: Only you can prevent friendly fire.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Maxim 5: Close air support and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Maxim 33:If you’re leaving tracks, you’re being followed.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
They’re holding flushes of face cards, and I think we’re the pot.
Maxim 31: Only cheaters prosper.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
We either need an overwhelming force advantage, or we need more information.””Reinforcements cut into our bounty, remember?””It’s unanimous. We need more information.