California is a fine place to live, if you happen to be an orange.
All I know about humour is that I don’t know anything about it.
a group of people who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done
It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
I have just returned from Boston it is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.
California is a fine place to live – if you happen to be an orange.
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children – except in self-defense.
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.
All I know about humor is that I don’t know anything about it.
I don’t want to own anything that won’t fit into my coffin.
(A gentleman) is any man who wouldn’t hit a woman with his hat on.
She used to be a schoolteacher but she has no class now.
My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get except the blinding headaches.
The first Sunday I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a friend who owns a beret.
An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.
All I know about humor is that I don’t know anything about it.
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap.
The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They’re afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
California is a fine place to live – if you happen to be an orange.
The last time I saw him he was walking down lover’s lane holding his own hand.
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.