If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.
Interviewer: ‘So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?’Frank Zappa: ‘You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?
Definition of rock journalism: People who can’t write, doing interviews with people who can’t think, in order to prepare articles for people who can’t read.
Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.
Well, in this world of basic stereotyping, give a guy a big nose and some weird hair and he is capable of anything.
My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can.
There’s a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.
Take the Kama Sutra. How many people died from the Kama Sutra as opposed to the Bible? Who wins?
If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.
I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.
Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.
behind each breakaway movement is a breakaway demagogue who will set up his breakaway demagogue government.
Art is making something out of nothing, and selling it.
Information is not knowledge.Knowledge is not wisdom.Wisdom is not truth.Truth is not beauty.Beauty is not love.Love is not music.Music is THE BEST.
Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.
All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.
A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.
The rock and roll business is pretty absurd, but the world of serious music is much worse.
For the record, folks; I never took a shit on stage and the closest I ever came to eating shit anywhere was at a Holiday Inn buffet in Fayetteville, North Carolina, in 1973.
I like to watch the news, because I don’t like people very much and when you watch the news … if you ever had an idea that people were really terrible, you could watch the news and know that you’re right.
The more you can escape from how horrible things really are, the less it’s going to bother you…and then, the worse things get.
A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.
Communism doesn’t work because people like to own stuff.
The United States is a nation of laws, badly written and randomly enforced.
I wrote a song about dental floss but did anyone’s teeth get cleaner?
The Ultimate Rule ought to be: ‘If it sounds GOOD to you, it’s bitchin’; if it sounds BAD to YOU, it’s shitty. The more your musical experience, the easier it is to define for yourself what you like and what you don’t like.
There is more stupidity around than hydrogen and it has longer shelf life.
There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we’d all love one another.
Music, in performance, is a type of sculpture. The air in the performance is sculpted into something.
Most people wouldn’t know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.
The computer can’t tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what’s missing is the eyebrows.
Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.
One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people’s minds.
No change in musical style will survive unless it is accompanied by a change in clothing style. Rock is to dress up to.