Top 31 Daniel Handler Quotes

The thing with your heart’s desire is that your heart doesn’t even know what it desires until it turns up.


A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded.


I gasped and pointed the way. I gave you an adventure, Ed, right in front of you but you never saw it until I showed you, and that’s why we broke up.


Everything else has vanished, so you take them now. Maybe if you’re the one keeping them, I’ll be the one feeling better.


For every girl I thought I was uncomplicated sex, it wasn’t. Put it this way: if you can’t see the complication, you’re probably it.


He thought she knew what he meant, but the biggest mistake you can make is thinking they know what you mean.


Call me later, you’d said, so I could call you later, at night, and it is those nights I miss you, Ed, the most, on the phone, you beautiful bastard.


It will be a very long time before I trust you ever, ever – OK, I trust you again.


She was all the world’s money, and I would spend it with her, my sharpest friend who changed the tide, my only comfort from the brutal gamble of the world and the wicked ways of men.


I guess it’s funny how life turns out?” she tried. “Not last I checked,” Errol said with a snort.


The file clanked against me, my stupid idea nobody would have gotten had I ever done it. You even wouldn’t have gotten it, Ed, I thought, watching her go. It’s why we broke up, so here it is. Ed, how could you?


I’d ruin any day, all my days, for those long nights with you. And I did. But that right there was why it was doomed.


You know I want to be a directos, but you could never truly see the movies in my head and that, Ed, is why we broke up.


I’m dumping the whole box back into your life Ed, every item of you and me. I’m dumping this box on your porch, Ed, but it’s you, Ed, who is getting dumped.


I’m writing it in a letter, the whole truth of why it happened. And the truth is that I goddamn loved you so much.


Here we are at the bottom, almost empty. It’s like confetti, these dried remnants you find in the street for a party no one invited you to. But they used to be, I can admit, part of something beautiful.


I’m nothing, not a single thing. The only particle I had, the only tiny thing raising me up, is that I was Ed Slaterton’s girlfriend, loved by you for like ten secs, and who cares, so what, and not anymore so how embarrassing for me.


You winked, took the change. I should have seen it, Ed, as a sign that you were unreliable. Instead, I saw it as a sign of charming, which is why I didn’t break it off right then and there.


There were a million things, everything, I didn’t know. I was stupid, the official descriptive phrase for happy. I took this thing I’m giving you back, this thing you gave me as the star we were waiting for finally emerged.


We thought we had time. I waved but couldn’t answer, because I was finally letting myself grin as wide as I’d wanted all afternoon, all evening, every sec of every minute with you, Ed. Shit, I guess I already loved you then.


Another gift, another secret, another time to lean in and kiss me.


All over the world are particular people, and you could be happy with probably five or six of them, eight if you’re bisexual and everyone is.


This teaching job did not pay a lot of money, because, let’s face it, nobody gives a flying fuck about education, but it was a temporary position.


You can’t mind these things, you just can’t, for to dislike what makes a person human is to dislike all humans.


If he’s not gay and he hung out with you the whole time, he wanted to be. It’s boyfriend or want to be boyfriend or I guess gay. Those are the choices.


She had the look in her eye when you kick and kick at the door and it doesn’t open, when you write a boy letters and letters and he never loves you, not ‘til the day he dies. Not even then.


And then like a song we’d forgotten was even on the mix, you stepped into the house and my whole life.


The movie was kickass, which was appropriate, because tonight it was called Kickass: The Movie.


I like to give people novels I think they would like, on no particular occasion – just when we’re in a bookstore together. I like to receive reference books on my birthday.


I write longhand on legal pads, about half at home and half in cafes. I drink a lot of water and eat a lot of raw carrots.


I write every day weekdays for about 5 hours, mostly longhand on legal pads. It has gotten neither harder nor easier, sadly or happily.



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