Men with high baseline levels of testosterone marry less frequently, have more adulterous affairs, commit more spousal abuse, and divorce more often.
If two very different people pool their DNA, they’ll create more genetic variety, and their young will come to the job of parenting with a wider array of skills.
Both sexes like the exercise and challenge of sports, but for men it’s also a basic display behavior for impressing and winning a mate.
Men have a psychological need to show off their courage and strength. When he sees you talking to another guy, that instinct kicks in and he jumps to protect you and prove he’s worthy of your love.
A lot of people head into courtship looking for fireworks. Don’t pass up a chance by dumping someone after a first date because you don’t feel the fireworks. The fireworks can happen at any time and be maintained.
There’s a lot of talk about the positive aspects of love. We as a society downplay the danger, the anxiety, and the disappointment. We romanticize romance.
A hundred years ago, if you had a child out of marriage, you’d be a social disgrace. Today women feel comfortable enough economically and culturally to bring up a child without a recognized commitment from a man.
In America, we are demanding everything from our marriage.
Despite the myth that men are less committed, they are predisposed to desire marriage.
Jealousy can even be good for love. One partner may feel secretly flattered when the other is mildly jealous. And catching someone flirting with your beloved can spark the kind of lust and romance that reignites a relationship.
Natural beauty really entices men. They will tell you this time and time again, and studies consistently prove it.
Games are the way we keep romance alive. They’re based in human hardwiring. Playing hard-to-get or leaving a little to the imagination allows the woman to be wooed and appreciated and the man to be challenged and intrigued.
A Rolex watch or an expensive car are the things guys often use to show status, wealth, and basic desirability.
In general, men are wired to notice obvious signs that convey interest in mating – a warm smile, for example – and ignore other subtleties, like if your lipstick is faded.
When you’re in the throes of this romantic love, it’s overwhelming – you’re out of control, you’re irrational, you’re going to the gym at 6 A.M. every day – Why? Because she’s there.
Blushing is thought to be linked to increased levels of norepinephrine in the brain, which may be associated with romantic feelings. It signals that we are interested and excited, which is attractive to men.
The reason you take antidepressants is to feel calm. And romantic love is not calm – it’s elation, it’s mood swings, and you’re killing all that when you take the drug.
Romantic love allows you to focus mating energy. Attachment sustains that relationship as long as necessary to raise your baby.
Any kind of novelty or excitement drives up dopamine in the brain, and dopamine is associated with romantic love.
I’ve always maintained that men were more romantic than women.
I think romantic love evolved to enable you to focus your mating energy on just one individual at a time, thereby conserving mating time and energy.
Anthropologists have found evidence of romantic love in 170 societies. They’ve never found a society that did not have it.
Psychologists maintain that the dizzying feeling of intense romantic love lasts only about 18 months to – at best – three years.
People compose poetry, novels, sitcoms – for love.
When you fight, anger drives up testosterone in both men and women.
Until recently, we regarded love as supernatural. We were willing to study the brain chemistry of fear and depression and anger but not love.