Pain was simply an inevitability of living, and I had to learn how to trust him with his own, as I trusted him with mine.
I hated myself, and the part of me that was cowardly wished for a simple solution: an exchange of pain for forgiveness. But life didn’t work that way, and fucking up was forever.
My cock actually sort of staggers like a punch-drunk boxer who doesn’t know when to stay down.
I have a sort of . . . thing, I suppose, for certain words. They spark inside me, somehow, turning me to touchpaper, but I don’t know what they are until someone says them.
When I was lost in the fog, it was as though nothing else existed. And, afterwards, it seemed incomprehensible that I had ever really thought like that. Self-recrimination inevitably followed.
Days passed in a grey fog. I was becalmed. Without energy, without hope, with no sight of land, I could remember feeling better but I somehow couldn’t believe in it. There was nothing but this.
There had been a subtle realignment of the spheres. The world was somehow a place I could endure again. If life was a grey corridor lined with doors, it was now within my power to open some of them.
I thought of Marius. Wild, wonderful, Byronic-fantasy Marius, who had somehow found something he wanted in the everyday quietness of me. Until he hadn’t.
It’s ironic, since they’re supposed to be immortal, but vampires are kind of like small businesses: half of them go down within their first year
And now he smiled at me. All teeth. The way only people who hadn’t learned self-consciousnessknew how to smile.
And when he kisses me it feels a bit like fear and tastes a bit like tears, but it’s as bright and sweet as sherbet, and I decide to call it joy.
Life is so full of rough edges – small tasks and expectations that scratch you bloody and remind you that you’re naked and alone.
In daylight and up close, he was merciless, all smiles and freckles, the brightest, boldest flame a moth could wish for.
The future is terrifying because it’s full of stuff, not because it’s empty.
Love doesn’t just go away when it becomes inconvenient.
You do know you’re one of the hot ones, right? You could have any dom in this room if you looked marginally more approachable than an underfed piranha having a bad day.
My dominant (no pun intended) discourse seems to be needy as fuck.
His attention. Sweet and intense at the same time. Like a barley sugar I could untwist from its plastic and hold in my mouth. A flood of secret pleasure.
Nim handed me a mug of tea. I took a sip and it was just how I like it, strong and sweet. If you added psychotic and emotionally unavailable to that, it would also cover my taste in women.
This is the story of my life: standing on the edges of things and worrying, when I’m supposed to just walk through them.
I’m not trying to upset you. I just think it’s about time you move
I had no idea it would be like this. That having someone on their knees for you would make you so vulnerable.
Kink crowds are the same the world over. The good ones are already taken, the hot ones only talk to each other, and everyone else is desperate.
Thank you,” I said bravely, dropping the syllables cleanly, like marbles, and secretly full of the most pathetic pride imaginable. I had spoken to strangers.
Behind my eyelids, I saw him dancing in spirals of coloured light, emerald, blue, and brilliant purple, enfolding him like the wings of an electric angel.