HARV, can you help at all here?” I asked, spinning downward.“I am writing your obituary. Well, not so much writing it as updating it,” HARV told me.If I lived, I was going to kill HARV.
Walking into Nova Hollywood, I remembered why I didn’t come here more often. I like a good slice of cheese as much as the next guy, but this place would be too cheesy for a giant mutant rat who had been starving for a week.
My number one fear is heights. Well, not so much the heights but the falling from heights. Actually the falling isn’t that bad (I have a strong heart), it’s the sudden stops that are painful. Believe me — I experienced it once.
Thing is, I am not a big fan of hovers. I firmly believe that if man was meant to fly we’d have feathers, rubber bones, or better insurance coverage.
So, what you’re basically telling me is death is boring but no worse than hanging out with family.
I told you it was easy,” HARV said.“True, but you say that about everything.”“That’s because everything is easy for me.”“Everything but humility.”“No, that’s easy, too. I just choose not to practice it.
How bad is it?”“The story is only just now being reported, but let’s put it this way,” HARV said. “The bag is now clearly catless, and there’s a very foul odor coming from the fan.
No thanks,” I answered, “I never take rides from strangers, thugs who’ve tried to kill me or people with poor personal hygiene. Congratulations, by the way, for being the first person to qualify in all three categories.
Yeah, but will it hurt?”’ I asked.“This is science, Zach,” Randy said, reassuringly, as he tilted my head back and lowered the lens to my eye. “Of course it will hurt.
‘Foo Kyu’ is just a very unfortunate cultural coincidence.””Just think about his poor son, ‘Foo Kyu Two.’
I smiled, reached into my pockets and pulled out a pair of ultrapowerful earplugs, the kind that are standard issue for skyway construction workers, artillery soldiers, and roadies for the thirty-five most popular teen boy bands.
I focused the power from my armor into my leg and kicked the door in. The metal and plastic fibers splintered and the hinges ripped free from the wall.“By the way, boss,” HARV said. “I believe that the door was unlocked.
You bastard, stop that whistling and fight me like a man!
Great Gates almighty,” HARV said inside my brain. “I go off-line for a few nanos and the whole world goes to DOS.
Carol, I thought you didn’t liked playing with the minds of normal people.”“Yes, but the press don’t count as normal.”“She’s got you there,” HARV added.
Forget it,” I said. “Opie could be bloodthirsty, rabid, radioactive, and selling life insurance and he’d still be preferable to listening to the two of you.