Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
He neither drank smoked nor rode a bicycle. Living frugally saving his money he died early surrounded by greedy relatives. It was a great lesson to me.
Happiness sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open.
My head is buried in the sands of tomorrow while my tail feathers are singed by the hot sun of today.
A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open.
I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.
The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time.
If it isn’t the sheriff, it’s the finance company; I’ve got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.
In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief.