Can officially confirm that the way to a man’s heart these days is not through beauty, food, sex, or alluringness of character, but merely the ability to seem not very interested in him.
It is proved by surveys that happiness does not come from love, wealth, or power but the pursuit of attainable goals.
The point is you are supposed to vote for the principle of the thing, not the itsy-bitsy detail about this percent and that percent.
Tom has a theory that homosexuals and single women in their thirties have natural bonding: both being accustomed to disappointing their parents and being treated as freaks by society.
No one is thinking about you. They’re thinking about themselves, just like you.
I began to think I quite liked her really. It’s always so nice to meet someone more badly behaved than oneself.
When he’s hot, he’s hot; when he’s not, he’s not. But at least there is always food
I mean, I haven’t rushed to the answerphone once to see if anyone’s aware of my existence in the world!
It’s all chop-change chop-change with you. Either go out with me and treat me nicely, or leave me alone. As I say, I am not interested in fuckwittage.
Eventually, I manage to cheer Mum up by allowing her to go through my wardrobe and criticize all my clothes…
Oh God, what’s wrong with me? Why does nothing ever work out?
I was writing an earnest novel about cruises in the Caribbean and I just started writing ‘Bridget Jones’ to get some money, to finance this earnest work, and then I chucked it out.