I wouldn’t have minded school if they taught you important things like how to have good sex and what brand of wine is the best… But for some reason they were hell bent on teaching me algebra
My limits know me well enough to stay out of my way.
No religion can fully accept another religion, that’s the one belief all religions share
The other day, a friend of a friend said that everyone started out as girls, but boys evolved… But don’t worry girls, I hit him.
You could say I’m so manly I don’t even allow manly stereotypes to influence my actions
Hating Britain is a fundamental part of being British
How fickle is my young male heart as it avidly jumps from love to love
Losing your virginity is a lot like when you find out that Santa doesn’t exist… First you’re slightly disappointed, and then you’re happy because you’re in on the secret
Now that I’ve reached the ripe old age of retirement, I feel it my duty to teach you everything I’ve learnt about love, so listen closely. Love is like… That’s as far as I’ve gotten I’m afraid.
By passing your GCSEs you prove that you’re not an idiot… But by passing your A levels you prove that you’re smart
Love is the one thing in this world that you should never have to go through alone… For unreciprocated love is the most soul crushing experience you will ever go through.